the story of my life...

2012-01-30T17:59:00.001+08:00

How can anyone be so evil to take things away from others? Now "what if"s just can't stop running through my mind but I know it's too late. So upset :(

2012-01-30T16:31:00.001+08:00

Sometimes you realise the people that have always been there, you've never really treated them like people. Just numbers in the news. You dont think about the lives they've been cheated of, the second class status they are accorded and the pains they go through to even survive here but we don't accept them anyway. Makes you wonder.

We visit Mel at Loola's

2012-01-28T14:45:00.002+08:00

Meeting up with them is the hardest part. Note the missing boy that was supposedly the whole reason for this gathering. Otherwise, being with them is so easy & fun :)

Chinese New Year

2012-01-25T22:23:00.003+08:00

Spiky friends from Swarovski from a certain house :)

Condensation on camera lens gave this ghostly effect, really love it.

It was just two days. I ate a lot. Talked to people for an unexpected amount of time. I'm not sure knowing it could be my last one in Singapore made a very big difference.

2012-01-22T23:01:00.001+08:00

Sometimes life is so scary that I just want to throw my life away to start anew. But I guess that's called running away.

My heart is full

2012-01-19T22:11:00.005+08:00

Baking cherry butter cake/muffin with this as the end result :( However, it really did taste very nice even if it didn't look so! I think it's not bad for my first attempt ^^

Satisfying my kway teow craving at HK Cafe :)

HTHT with Gladys; it's been awhile

That's what it feels like

2012-01-19T13:47:00.000+08:00

2012-01-18T21:21:00.002+08:00

Chinese chess & Bollywood Veggies. Whole aftn travelling because I nearly lost my camera, again. I think this is the third time I've misplaced a camera. Lazy afternoon.

I want to Katong

2012-01-17T19:03:00.002+08:00

Finally checked out I12 Katong tdy that turned out somewhat disappointing but cooler at the same time with the WWF shop & a giraffe almost taller than me. Almost. Eating banmian after a long hiatus & indulging in gongcha. I12 has loads of food though. Shopping in Orchard. I laughed a lot & it was pretty fun :)

The most chillax trip ever: Bintan

2012-01-17T10:34:00.004+08:00

Laser Quest, which was about the most scariest thing ever cos it was in the dark & it's like you wna find people but at the same time you're supposed to hide from them... Anyway, suffice to say, I had a really lousy score & probably dragged my team down heh.

The room was nice but it was not as nice as what it looked like in the photo! Roommates :)

First ferry ride, really expensive food/drinks. Awkward moments meeting unexpected people. Beach & pool. Card games; Bang. Eating & sitting around a lot.

Chinese Garden

2012-01-12T20:04:00.000+08:00

Hua Mulan says hi ^^

Wishes

2012-01-12T10:08:00.001+08:00

If only it was okay to wear t-shirt, fbts & slippers everywhere. And that backpacks go with everything. Everyone would save so much money.

Memories of December

2012-01-10T21:51:00.006+08:00

This is like pretty belated, but in any case.. Best parts of December that I happened to have in photos!

Christmas decorations in town are the best :)

Prom!

USA Christmas decorations are just so pretty, makes you wna buy everything home.

Wizarding World of Harry Potter :)

The awesome food in US

Probably one of the most intelligent animals on earth.. I know I'm not supposed to like animals in captivity but... It's complicated

My small & impromptu but very special birthday "cake" ^^ Could barely bring myself to eat the top...

The cutest mascot ever!!! I love piglet ♥

Disney does fireworks the best, & the castle is just magical

Seals that looked so angry to be furry slippers... The best part of San Francisco :)

Even though I've been super busy & stressed, when I step back, I quite like my life as it is now. I can at least relax as long as I don't choose to make myself busy. And I'm learning so many new things, even those that I didn't quite intend to & it's just so exciting! Working at Shu Uemura, even if it's just for two days, was pretty fun. It was undeniably boring at a lot of times & I always can't wait to end work/go for break. But.... Selling stuff is pretty exciting & addictive! Even though I totally fell short of my target (I don't see how I can be expected to meet it anw), being able to successfully sell a product is a new high haha. A personal achievement I suppose. Nevertheless, it's really quite tiring & my heart always beats very fast when customers ask me stuff I'm not familiar with (which is like 70% of the stuff haha). I'm very excited to start on new things :)

2012-01-03T17:34:00.001+08:00

There I questions I have. I don't ask them cos I can't. But I want to.

It does not feel like Christmas Eve

2011-12-25T12:26:00.001+08:00

Epcot. China, Germany, Norway, Italy. Fast cars. Stuffed with desserts. Dinner on a revolving platform with Chip&Dale, Pluto & Mickey. Fireworks like the sound of gunshots. Aching feet. My (mother's) necklace was extremely popular. Andrea Bocelli singing with the muppets.

A quick update...

2011-12-18T12:28:00.002+08:00

Hi from Orlando!!! :) 22hrs of flight but upon arrival it seems worth it heh. I know I'm supposed to be turning 18 soon but theme parks still excite me a lot & I love Disney ^^ It's been 11 years since I was last here & I definitely didn't rmbr the copious amounts of water bodies all over the place. It's pretty nice but baffling why there are so many ponds/lakes. A change of weather is also nice. Also going to make good use of my camera as I failed to do so for prom..

2011-12-15T19:04:00.003+08:00

SPH was really interesting today, even if I unfortunately was not in the best of moods throughout. Must do something about my attention span. I am excited because my law internship is really happening & pretty soon, hello America :)

What I miss about band

2011-12-14T20:29:00.001+08:00

Of course the music-making, but stuff like the band room where we hung out, playing bridge, talking in general. It's sad that we eventually stopped playing cards & stopped studying there. It's sad that I drifted apart from them although I know they don't care. My section of course. Maybe we shouldn't have spent so much time not practicing during sectionals but the truth is, this is what I'm going to remember: carrot cake picnics, playing Monopoly Deal & just talking. Them & TAE are the greatest part of why I would miss band. Truth to be told, TAE was really fun but although I'm familiar w all of them, I feel more bonded to my section as a group.

2011-12-14T18:29:00.001+08:00

It's quite sad how sometimes just because you don't engage in a certain activity you inadvertently exclude yourself from a certain group of friends whenever they go out. Oh well.

Traders

2011-12-13T22:49:00.001+08:00

Buffet at Traders as a belated post A's celebration w my family. Food was awesome as usual ^^ I drank 3 cups of tea & nearly polished off the sugar on the table. Didn't like that they replaced the Asian noodles cook-on-the-spot booth w pasta instead... Bye prawn noodles :( the non-cheddar & "high-class" cheese I tried the other time didn't seem to be available to I tried another one which made me finally understand why people would find cheese smelly. I mean I seriously love cheese but that one is just... No way. Heh. Highlights of the buffet are the chefs who walk around w food on skewers like sausages/baked pineapples/honey baked ham/beef :) the pretty Christmas decor was totally a bonus!

Last Night

2011-12-09T15:14:00.002+08:00

Swissotel. I felt so awkward, so out of place, so many times, but it was still fun. Bad lighting, photos with flashes that I hate & my stupid mistake that prevented me from bringing a camera to prom causing me to subsist on my polaroid (which "broke down" later on anw!) & other kind souls' cameras. Food was pretty good in some dishes but not in others, but I'm inclined to think that overall I enjoyed the food more than I did in Orchard Hotel 2 years ago. I'm glad we had John as prom king nominee for a last sense of class solidarity, even if he was only first runner up.

MBS has really awesome rooms but I don't want to think about how much they cost. A toilet twice/triple the size of normal hotel toilets & a roomy bedroom area. I predict that the view from our room would look fantastic once the construction is complete, because now it is a map of orange/brown sand. Walking/cabbing up and down through Marina to Dhoby & all around to play (or as in my case, watch) LAN through 1-6am was an experience. Inhaling second-hand smoke was not my cup of tea but now I know. Bus stop talks, getting to know people better. Breakfast at Macs at 6am with other groups of VJ people all around was interesting. I spied at least two other groups residing at MBS.

Drifting in & out of sleep as we waited for the guys to finish doing wtv they were doing - twice? I'm amazed that I'm not really tired now even though I'm usually like that. Also, just how cold the whole of MBS was, even in the sky garden/pool. The wind just kept blowing & it was really nice, but a much-absent jacket would have been greatly appreciated. The view at the otherwise $20 per entry skypark was fascinating & very gratifying.

Ending w xlb makes it perfect :)

2011-12-09T05:30:00.001+08:00

I really hate LAN. Please tell me why I submit myself to this everytime.

An Enchanting Day

2011-11-29T22:42:00.002+08:00

Brunch at Botanical Gardens was surprisingly not hot & pretty fun ^^ Plenty of food but not as much Monopoly Deal as expected. Shopping was tiring but I think mission was accomplished!! I hope!! Good food for dinner. Lots of talking today :)

Zafon

2011-11-26T20:49:00.003+08:00

With the conclusion of my exams, I have returned to perusing new books once more, although the first I picked up is not so new but still unfamiliar... I re-read The Angel's Game by Carlos Ruiz Zafon which I first picked up in June. Then, I definitely felt it was just as marvellous as The Shadow of the Wind which became my all-time favourite, but so many unanswered questions because it was infinitely more complex. And partly because I sort of sped-read it in my eagerness to find out what happens next.

This time round, because I forgot what happens, there was a tendency to speed-read again, but I forced myself to re-read certain parts I skimmed through the first time round so I could really understand what was going on. In the end I was still left with so many questions & I still did speed-read through certain parts, although less so than the first time heh. Watching interviews with the author on Youtube & reading discussion on forums has helped though, & it has made me realise just how stunning the novel really is..

I love how it raises questions & readers guessing because the story is somewhat incomplete, but it doesn't have loopholes, if that makes any sense. I don't deny wishing to know what the story is for the author but I like how he says it's a "feel bad" story as opposed to how The Shadow of the Wind is a "feel good" story. The realisation that the narrative of what happens is actually how it appears to the protagonist who is rapidly descending into madness is sobering. I guess I should have been trained by Disgrace, but it was really something that did not occur to me the first time I read it. It's so scary & so disturbing but so fascinating as you try to unravel the threads & somehow fit the pieces together.

This author is definitely going on my list of favourite authors.. I rarely ever read mysteries because it honestly scares me (Hi Overactive Imagination) but disturbing as his books may be, I somehow find the courage to plough through them (& also by skimming through certain parts heh) because what he offers is just somehow so different? Maybe it's his exploration of the human psyche as well & the language in which he wraps the ideas in. I like that although I can see similarities between the two books in the story etc, it doesn't matter because of what he does with it. Certain authors like Dan Brown may offer thrilling & exciting plotlines, but you can seriously see the formula after reading two or three books; like predictably unpredictable. That's also kind of why I like Neil Gaiman. He's just so versatile (to me) that his books are not formulaic.

Life

2011-11-24T22:38:00.003+08:00

Tuesday:
You're the Apple of my Eye

Wednesday:
Richard & Din Tai Fung ^^

Today:
Island Creamery :)

I love being able to go places & just do things however randomly I want, filling my time with lots of talking, movies (& packing). Not having this pervasive overhang of A's looming. That said, I still can't believe they're really over! This year seems to have zoomed past & yet events like syf feel a million years away.

2011-11-19T14:11:00.001+08:00

I'm actually very scared to go overseas & study. But it's something that I HAVE TO do cos otherwise I think I might not be able to forgive myself. Maybe that's why I'm not scared of A's. Cos I have a greater fear.

2011-10-16T23:20:00.000+08:00

A double (or triple) dose of injustice

2011-10-15T18:49:00.001+08:00

1. A group of people ridiculously picky on me.
Just thinking about it inadvertently makes me so angry, especially when I face proof of the injustice every single day that I'm in school.
2. An scolding that did not allow me tell my side of the story

And as the cherry on top, my brother's rudeness is so hard to swallow. Taking offense at someone's inability to pronounce your friend's name, really?

Faded Dream

2011-10-04T21:11:00.003+08:00

I've always accepted unquestioningly that adults (i.e. parents) would always not like the music (of today) that I listen to and all. I always subconsciously thought that it's kinda cos they were from a different generation and hence they would naturally only like music of their generation, which is quite different from what is produced these days.. I thought it was just the kind of "they just can't appreciate stuff like rock music/Linkin Park".

After taking a really good listen to old bands like Queen however, I realised why. Freddie Mercury really has a unique and fantastic voice. The texture of his voice and emotion he puts in (in the few songs I heard) is really special. And the fact that they actually wrote most of their own songs, lyrics + music. Juxtaposed against today where we think writing their own lyrics is like woah already. I guess if I grew up listening to artistes like these, I wouldn't think much of today's singers/bands either (except for maybe Adam Levine & his sexy voice heh). I always thought a good voice was maybe like Clay Aiken - powerful, or maybe just sounding nice like Taylor Swift or something. Fact is, if you compare to people like Freddie Mercury, it's kind of nothing. Cos his voice is powerful + that something extra.

To a certain extent maybe I'm being unfair because Mercury is legendary. And only time will tell whether the popular ones today will last I guess.

2011-10-04T06:45:00.001+08:00

I like the way we're not close but we can still hang out & care about each other. And it's not fake at all.

Sometimes Disney is kinda amazing

2011-10-01T23:02:00.001+08:00

"Happy girls are the prettiest girls"

2011-09-28T18:00:00.002+08:00

Janeal & I swopped shoes this morning in order to have a good breakfast. I sort of fell asleep during my first lesson but everything & in between was kinda fun & I laughed a lot. Fulfilled my banmian craving even as they increased their prices. Nonetheless, it's still pretty much cheaper than normal outside food! Even though A's are in approx 40 days, it was a good day :)

Walking out

2011-09-27T22:31:00.003+08:00

To know that you feel the same somehow doesnt make me feel any different. It doesnt make me feel better. Maybe its that I'm too entrenched already in what I feel that callous as it sounds, it doesnt matter who's like me and who's not. I've been trying and trying. & I don't know when it'll finally end.

2011-09-26T19:36:00.002+08:00

It's been a really long while. A's are drawing nearer but I don't really feel scared. What scares me the most are UK unis. About maybe not being to get into them. It's been part of my certain future (in my mind) for so long, I'm not sure I'd know what to do with myself if I don't get in. What also scares me is being able to get in there cos living alone away from everyone is pretty scary. It's on my mind so much nowadays.

SBQ

2011-08-17T21:49:00.001+08:00

Interestingly enough, I had plenty of fun with them, discussing source based, even when I thought my brain had exhausted itself from the 5 hours of straight lessons. Finding a new friend in Tunku & pondering over his thoughts, being delighted over Tommy Koh's spectacles. A spectacle indeed.

Times like these when exams draw near & I get stressed ever so easily, are small joys.

Amazed

2011-08-13T20:15:00.001+08:00

Have been stressing a bit this week over my history, among my other subjects.. Faced w the prospect of not knowing how t improve my history has been pretty depressing. But suddenly I'm having better prospects.. Like the potential of receiving help for history in the form of notes, advice and the prospect of consultation :) and I believe it's God-willed when I didn't even ask Him for help.. Just another reason to return to the way I was in Sec 4.

In the face of "greatness"

2011-08-11T19:30:00.001+08:00

And with today's last session I say bye to the dude who tuitioned me. I find it so absolutely amazing how some people can just be so intelligent. This is a guy who scored 4As and a distinction in H3 Econs tgt w KI, & successfully obtained a scholarship to Yale. Its just so stunning, like how can these people exist? And in the face of such characters.. I'm just like "okay, what do I have to offer huh? What do I even have?" While I have never gotten a U before, I've never gotten an A either & it's not like I'm taking 4H2s. And when I think I've done well, others w my results are saying they didn't. So where does that leave me?

I guess what I'm trying to say is that in the face of such people, I just feel so awed and I really really wna work hard to do well to even just get a fraction of their stellar results. So that I can even be what people expect of VJ.

HP spoilers ahead

2011-07-15T19:24:00.002+08:00

I like Harry Potter pretty much, love the books, cant wait to catch every movie, but I wouldnt call myself a diehard fan. Yet it's pretty much the end & I cant help but feel mildly perturbed.. Caught the movie today & it was better than 6 & 7 Part I, this much I can say, but I always find it v hard t judge objectively cos I somehow remember loads of small little details from the book & I always use that to judge the movie. It didnt feel like two hours long & Hermione 19 years later looked pretty much the same as around now.. As stunning as ever; they should've given her some wrinkles or something heh. But Alan Rickman as Snape was awesome :) I love his portrayal of Snape, his composure and that ice tone of his. My mind's still buzzing w the movie & I'm rmbring a lot from it but I dont actually know what to say about it. I guess the most poignant part was in Hogwarts when they laid out all the bodies to rest & there's one of the twins (oops cant rmbr which), then there's Tonks & Lupin.

This isn't strictly relevant but I really love this ^^

Monte Carlo

2011-07-08T10:32:00.002+08:00

Went to watch Monte Carlo & it was pretty good. Paris is so cool :) But I know its pretty cliched, like yeah everyone wants to go there & everything.. I suppose it just made me realise how lucky I was to be able to travel quite a bit since young :) The ending was a bit bleah though, but thats like always, actually. Leighton Meester's really cute ^^ (& her clothes were pretty nice)

2 years back

2011-07-04T21:05:00.004+08:00

The swan here was being pretty agile & balancing on one foot (later on it tucked its neck under its wing while still being on one foot... show off)

The end of my post-CT2s celebration culminated in me eating a lot (as I have been these few days.. D:). I really like those food fairs that have the dragon's beard thing/tea eggs♥ and all of that come every once in awhile to shopping malls ^^ It's the only time I ever see tea eggs for sale.. Had Island Creamery after a really really long while of not. I think the last time was probably in February during CNY w my batch but aft exploring ice-cream parlours around Singapore, I think Island Creamery is the best ^^ One scoop is very reasonably priced at less than $3 while elsewhere can be up to $5 or $6 and stuff like banana split with three scoops of ice cream is only $7.50! And I think a lot of the flavours are authentically awesome, tastes nicer than Baskin Robbins/Cold Stone Creamery etc. It's just that the location is pretty inaccessible now that I've left StMargs :/ But worth it once in awhile when there's time :)

Took a walk at what S & I used to call Cluny Park cos I just wanted to see what it was like.. Havent been there in two years I think. Now it's evident in the new signages like "Jacob Ballas' Children's Garden" that it's a part of Botanical Gardens, just that it's in Bukit Timah. Haha I rmbr the time we walked all the way from Orchard to Bukit Timah through Botanical Gardens from watching Band Fiesta cos we got lost. I think I almost died then haha. Anw there was surprisingly a lot more birds like ducks & swans which previously weren't there & while not crowded, there were still people walking about where previously it's like nobody. Going back to Bukit Timah really reminded me of SMSS days :')

While it's pretty inconvenient to get there by public transport, it's kinda worth it if you like to eat cos there's quite a fair bit of good food there ^^

2011-07-04T10:14:00.003+08:00

Guess I didn't

2011-07-03T21:16:00.001+08:00

I thought I managed the break the cycle and it was getting better.

Guess I didn't.

2011-07-02T22:38:00.001+08:00

Today I went for LAN for the first time and discovered that I absolutely cannot stand it for the fact that killing people = splattering their blood over the screen floor (it's really revolting). I'm not being fussy or difficult, I sincerely cannot stand gore and I'm gna have a fun time cos apparently nobody else feels the same way as me.

Chill :)

2011-07-01T20:18:00.002+08:00

I'm all relaxed now & enjoying life. I love being able to go out without having to worry about how much I havent studied. It's a freedom I'm gna enjoy fully these few days :)

Today all I did was go out & meet to tae to finalise urban hike discussions & everything, but the company was pretty fun I suppose! Oh & chores before & after I left the house.. Washing the toilet can actually be quite "enriching" but more on that later. On my way home I was thinking that maybe I should try & appreciate such meetings more cos tae 10/11 is approaching it's demise.. I know I'll miss hanging out w them as a collective bunch talking abt nonsense & laughing abt things, as irritating as some of them are in their refusal to be punctual... >:( I feel really lucky to be able to have people to work w that are genuinely good & fun people, like they may have their irritating little flaws or wtv but when all that is stripped away.. I've been lucky :)

Anw I know I've been pretty much spoiled since young cos I've never had to do chores, not even wash dishes or anything. I dont know how to iron cos I've never done that before. With the exception of a few times when overseas for long periods, I've never had to do what all my peers lived w their whole lives (from what I know/hear anw). But recent circumstances have demanded me to wash dishes/load clothes into washing machine/collect dry clothes and a new addition today, wash the toilet & vaccuum. While it was really damn tiring & literally back breaking (but admittedly satisfying watching all the dust disappear into the nozzle), I think when I reflect upon it, it's a good thing for me to learn all this. I've always wondered if I've not had to do anything much, how am I gna know how to do it next time? I mean let's say even if I'm in my own house when I'm older & have a cleaner or wtv to do it for me, I still need to be able to supervise so I'm not sucha noob & know what's happening right? Next up, need to learn how to cook haha.

Celebration

2011-06-30T23:28:00.002+08:00

Right now I'm just enjoying the end of exams & waiting for my results to come back, enough said. Shall play unreservedly for these 4 days & maybe study a bit if I feel like it then get back to A' level reality.

Celebrated the end of one month + of mugging by finally catching X Men: First Class. I have to say it's not what I expected and definitely pretty good (: If I'd known that it was gna be abt the Cuban Missile Crisis I'd have definitely wanted to watch it a lot more. After all, I actually had no intention of watching it cos it seemed like everyone else had watched it alr + no time. Post credits were pretty awesome right? ;P

Din Tai Fung + Cold Stone Creamery for dinner was pretty nice (: Was surprised that eating there wasnt very ex, like quite reasonable, just on the more ex side. I've been spending a lot of money recently... & I've been getting hungry a lot recently too ): should save more & run more (a bit hard to eat less when food is so nice & stomach is growling heh).

2011-06-25T23:10:00.003+08:00

So CTs are in 2 days. I feel surprisingly prepared for Econs despite having been in M'sia. But I probably wont feel so on Monday. Or Sunday night for that matter. How is it that no matter how early I start it never seems to work out quite right & I'm always left high & dry for History? ):

Missing my section

2011-06-10T20:31:00.001+08:00

I think part of the reason why I even like VJCSB as much as I do.. A great part of it, would be my section batch mates. I can't rmbr if I've blogged about it before, probably have actually haha. In any case.. Now that band's over and I'm done resting from being tired of band, I'm thinking about my section haha. I think I've been really lucky to have section mates I care about in both StMargs & VJ.

When I think about all the stuff we went through tgt from J1 to now, it makes me smile :) I think as a section we really went through a lot because of our delinquent tendencies and while I know it wasn't stellar behaviour I dont regret all that happening, even with all the scoldings we got from teachers & exco. I guess because all that we did tgt matters more to me & I'm pretty sure they're fond memories I'll have in the years to come when I think of VJCSB. All our weekly carrot cake picnics during sectionals, playing MD, going running, polishing our instruments.. I can't say it did very much for our improvement in skills but I think it made us play tgt without trying as hard. It's probably a pretty iffy/abstract concept but Sharmaine said we probably played a lot more tgt cos we were more attuned to each other cos we were more comfortable w each other from all our illegal bonding sessions. And I think it's quite true cos I'm more in tune w Constance than anyone else.. Like we usually sound tgt within seconds.

This year was probably the hardest because of syf & certain authority figures.. I rmbr how we worried over Caleb & cried tgt & discovered what we felt was the most important. And how we felt so proud of Caleb haha. Probably when we discovered just how much we really meant t each other. I'm not sorry for the scoldings & tears.

I'm so glad for all the practices we had tgt teasing each other & everything, laughing tgt. It was really fun.

Gossip Girl SATS episode

2011-06-05T22:30:00.002+08:00

[Father opens the door abruptly]
Dan: Argh! (getting a shock) Dad don't ever do that again.
Father: Time's up. I was instructed that when time was up I should share that information.
Dan: Yes but the manner in which you did it was as though you were deliberately trying to humiliate me.

2011-06-04T13:15:00.002+08:00

Had tae interviews the other day & it was pretty fun even though more than half of the apps couldn't make it. Spending the aftn + night w the tae was super enjoyable :) I actually really hate hosting (like ppl come over to my house) & all of that, except that I never rmbr that until my house gets volunteered/I volunteer my house again & people come over, but I guess the company made it all worth it :) Like at least overall they did help around & stuff & at least it meant I didn't really have a curfew/have to worry about getting home on time.

I think I'll really miss spending time with this bunch of people when we finally step down who knows when.

& so this is the end

2011-06-01T18:42:00.002+08:00

And w yesterday my band life effectively ended (& my tae life is just beginning again..). I finally got my chance t play in Esplanade, which when it comes down to it, is actually nothing much really haha. Like a lot of things, the concept is cooler than it actually is in reality. At least I wont have a chance to regret not having an opportunity to fulfil my dream haha. It's an intriguing experience being in the underbelly of Esplanade in the dressing rooms etc though! (: Proud of myself for knowing my way around & out. (Not that I'd ever really need t know again I think)

I regard yesterday's concert w mixed feelings.. For one, I'm really glad for all my friends & family who came & supported me! Touched by all the flowers they gave t me & I felt really bad for not being able t spend more time w them :/ & for those who came that I knew (although it wasnt primarily t support me haha), I'm thankful for having the chance t see them aft a long while again :) & I just realised I forgot t take photos w them.. D: Oh well anw. Secondly, I know personally it wasnt my best performance (probably because I was so sick of everything) but I'm fine with it. Looking back on it, I cant help comparing it to StMargs & I like SMSB & VJCSB both a lot, but performance-wise, nssn aside, StMargs' ones were always better. Not necessarily in playing or wtv but how much it means t you & all of that. I'm glad though, that everyone thought we played Hanover well. If there's any piece that I really cared about.. It's Hanover, followed by March Winds (& thats about it). Thirdly.. I'm glad we did it as a section batch :) There's been so many hard times for my section this year & it got really difficult but we ended it tgt & that's what I really care about. I'm glad that the J2 batch was happy w what we had & so I'm happy too :)

If there's one thing that remained the same from StMargs to VJ, I think it's that I always loved my section the same. I think I've been really lucky to always have people I really care about & trust in my section batch ♥ I left SMSB sad & happy cos of my section & I was happy to be so close to my section batchmates.. Still rmbr all our Mcdonald lunch outings whenever we had extra lessons in the hols in sec4, bursting out spontaneously into singing when Superstar came on. We rarely talk nowadays (except t S) but it's the kinda friendship that stays the same no matter how much time has elapsed since we last met & the memories are always plentiful. For VJ, I think I'm really proud of the J2 trumpets :) :) When the '10 J2s stepped down last yr, I think they were very worried that Caleb wouldn't be able to fit it w us three girls but somehow Caleb was integrated in anw! I think we managed to bond over suanning each other, pigging out sessions & self-declared breaktimes during sectionals. The past 1.5 yrs with them have been really fun & I'd really miss it a lot. I've come to realise through stuff that has happened that I really can trust them a lot, & I do. Like I can trust them to want the best for me & I want the best for them too. I'm so glad we managed the break the ice & talk about previously taboo topics w each other :)

Lastly, I realised a bit belatedly that I'm really not in band anymore (bye Saturday morning practices/Friday morning assemblies!!!) & it's probably one of the last few times I'd really play the trumpet. It makes me sad to realise that we'll never have band practices tgt & we're never gna do all those things that we used to do.. Mundane stuff, like rushing cards out before a concert, complaining t each other about people & stuff like that. In the end, I guess I'm still kinda glad that we have the band room that we'll still go to every morning, although it wouldn't be the same.. I'm glad for a batch like this :)

I'm glad for what band has given me through the years ♥

2011-05-28T21:00:00.003+08:00

Tdy was probably the second last band prac of my life, Tuesday not withstanding. I dont deny that band has been making me really tired, & ever since coming to Vj, I've been falling sick before every single concert.. Nssn was the worst. But then again, I guess I put in the most time & effort for it haha. This year it's been really bad cos I feel thoroughly drained of energy, I think I sort of finally understand how the sports people usually feel. Today was kind of the worst, because I just felt so lethargic during the morning band prac. It's like where you barely even have the energy to make yourself do anything, really forcing myself to play. Thank God for awesome sectionmates who made me laugh, even if it was embarrassing me @.@

I really cant wait for concert to be over so I can just forget about all the practices & everything, but I know I'd definitely miss it after I'm over recuperating from the sian-ness of band pracs :/ still, I cant quite make myself appreciate them more now.

Lunch or rather, "tea" was a lot better.. Was nice to just sit there & reminisce about last year, Urban Hike & everything. It's not like it was my first time hearing wtv they said, but it's still funny & fun to recount those memories :) hope we can make those memories as nice to the J1s this year.

POTC SPOILERS AHEAD

2011-05-24T21:09:00.002+08:00

Recently caught Pirates of the Carribean: On Stranger Tides & it was... interesting. There've been a myriad of online comments about it being really good or a total waste of time. I'm kinda in btwn I guess. I dont deny that Captain Jack Sparrow was really funny, but it was a bit of an old hat for me cos I could totally predict what he was gna say next at times so Idk what watching 5 will be like for me.. I really liked the addition of Philip & Syrena though!! ^^ I highly doubt they'd ever appear again but I wonder if the scriptwriters/actors/director even knew how much popularity they would garner?

But Philip & Syrena are really so sweet ♥ A bit like the Will/Elizabeth substitute but better cos Syrena's a mermaid? Haha. Anw I'm just so intrigued by her character, like it's really a mystery. She started out as this deadly mermaid but that moment when Philip trapped her & she just stared at him I was thinking omg he is so gna fall for her "I'm so innocent" trick!! & throughout I was so anxious on his behalf... Like when she kept gasping for air & he insisted on keeping a gap open for her to have air (meanwhile I was thinking er doesn't she have water to breathe in??) & I was like omg omg she's gna escape!! Which in the end she proved me wrong by not going anywhere haha. It's like she seemed to have feelings for him, but even on pain of death for Philip, she still wouldn't cry cos she refused to give them what they wanted. Was that some mermaid pride thing? As seen in her "We don't ask for help". Even when he asked her to cry cos he didnt wna die (I guess it's a bit more realistic? Cos I was expecting him to go all "Dont cry! Dont give them what they want!" hahaha but realistically who would do that?) And she would only cry tears of joy? Or maybe it was uninhibited cos she didnt know it was a "trap".. Much as I like them tgt, I still don't get why Philip would fall in love with Syrena..? I mean if it was just a protect/help the damsel in distress thing I totally get it but it's not really? I mean "it's okay" for her to fall for him cos he was the nicest to her.

I still wonder why she's different from the other mermaids though. Like from the very beginning when they first "met" she pulled Philip out of the way so he wouldn't die.. Why?? And if she was even there, it kinda meant she was in it (where "it" refers to dragging the men down to the pit of the ocean or wtv) with them, right? So it can't be that she's totally er.. morally upright? Haha. But their last scene tgt made me question her intentions once again. I was really suspicious of her from the beginning but when she really did cry I think I started to believe in her goodness as the smitten Philip did from the very beginning.. But then their last scene tgt he asked for her forgiveness, & something about him dying, Syrena said he only had to ask & then kissed him & pulled him down into the water. When I saw it I was like O: My first thought was omg did she just like kill him?!! But then I thought about it for awhile.. Some people say her kissing him would mean he could now breathe underwater & therefore live. Actually throughout the whole movie whenever he got injured & was close to dying I kept expecting her to somehow magically heal him cos she's a mermaid hahaha. But it could also be that all this while she was just pretending because she is after all deadly and in the end she still drags Philip to his death like how her sisters drowned the other men. I'm inclined to think it's this way, except that she cried & looked so betrayed when she found out that it was a trap previously. Also, the fact that she returned the chalices back to Jack Sparrow? Hmm.. I really hope she'll appear in the next movie!!

2011-05-17T17:58:00.001+08:00

Spent this morning in church w my batch, trying t come up w idea for our performance for Shukun's & Iris' wedding this Saturday! It was undeniably frustrating cos there were quite a few of us & more people, more often than not, usually means time wasted. But it was also plenty fun & I laughed a lot. The guys are so full of rubbish, it's really funny, with Wilson's antics & (failed) attempts to imitate MJ..

[cos we're using placards t form the letters of their names]
W: I can be the "I" [eye] in Iris!

Me: [to Kenneth] I'll ask you on twitter k!
Sean: Dude, you have twitter?? What's wrong w you!

[W affronted cos we asked him t "cry" onstage]
W: Real men don't cry onstage k.
S: But you're not a man dude!

Seals are the cutest ^^

2011-05-15T14:16:00.003+08:00

To prove that seals have ears!
Awww ^^

Events

2011-05-14T21:22:00.002+08:00

Me: Hey you wna come for my band concert?
W: Who's going?
Me: Er... Sean (etc etc)
W: Oh Sean uh? Okay I'm going!
Me: Huh seriously?
W: Yah I got choice meh? This is probably your last band concert? [looks affronted as though I forced him]

*

Ytd was a pretty eventful day w class phototaking & Macbeth :) My dearest seal was the celebrity of the day, passing out free hugs to my classmates & sectionmates.. For lack of a better name & vehemence to allow J to name her Marshmallow, I caved in & termed her Wilma as my Mum & Sis have been doing so... ): I think Wilma sounds pretty grandma-ish ): In any case, suddenly everyone wanted t talk to me cos of Wilma heheh. Z said "This one is.. nice" HAHA. Which I found pretty amusing. It's like an awkward term. Everyone was attempting seal sounds in order to bring her to life, which was even more amusing haha. I'm pretty sure she became dirtier though.. At least she's still white.

Macbeth was at the very least, worth all the sweat & rain & exercise. It was the first time I found a play enriching. Like the Tempest was boring & the Guru was entertaining, but I really picked up a lot from Macbeth. I suppose it's the familiarity (thanks to 3 yrs of my sister doing it) & Richard. I saw a lot of parallels & it made me very excited because I could never comprehend how the Elizabethan audience (from commoners to nobles) could just pick up the storyline & enjoy it just like that. I couldn't fathom how critics could pick up themes & all just like that too. But I managed to sort of do it ytd although I wouldn't presume to say "just like that" given the conditions haha. Lady Macbeth was a good effort but I found it somewhat lacking although I think her dresses really added to her character. Adrian Pang as Macbeth was really good :) Well worth my effort at the very least!

Syf

2011-05-05T22:16:00.003+08:00

It was one heck of an experience, definitely. Undeniably disappointed with the results but I'm really quite over it. I'm proud of my section cos I think we improved a lot :) Proud of Constance & I for pulling off our E flat & figure 25 parts! In the end, I think the thing that mattered the most to me was that our whole section was there, & I know we cared about it. I know it sounds pretty cliched or something but I'm really okay w our results now. Yesterday was just pretty stunning (not in a good way, but literally haha) & I think if I'd remembered it, the "HUH" face Constance kept imitating from Weiyun would've been pretty apt. So it's over! & I'm glad it's over. No regrets, really.

The Lost Bladesman

2011-05-05T22:05:00.002+08:00

I don't normally watch Chinese movies.. but this one was really well worth the effort :) Not only is the storyline pretty interesting, but the way the movie was done was pretty good too! Unlike some others I could think of, The Lost Bladesman didn't have too much gore, which is totally a thumbs up from my side. I really really cannot stand seeing people being stabbed or wtv (there's no point telling me it's fake). Admittedly, this one still had scenes I could scarcely bear to watch but it wasn't too much such that I couldn't watch half the movie or something. At least there was a purpose to it, not like overdone such that it becomes the point or something. I thought the cinematography was pretty well done too! Like Guan Yu, the protagonist, had to go through several "gates" of fighting & I mean, how much can fighting vary right? But it wasn't boring cos they did it in different ways, like I really liked the one that showed closed doors (like the kind of doors/gates/entrances they had to cities or wtv last time, the damn big ones) and just a gap to suggest action behind but not explicitly. Music was good too! And I thought Cao Cao was really portrayed quite interestingly. Like a villain yet not a villain, a hero yet not a hero. A bit like Richard maybe? Haha. The main female character (who wasn't really main actually) was pretty but useless. Like seriously pretty useless too haha. I guess it's just typifying females in that era? Just really tinkles at my Women in Lit senses hahah. Okay yeah nvm heh.

I'm not one for Chinese or action/battle movies usually, but this one is worth it :)

Hedgehogs!

2011-05-02T19:30:00.003+08:00

Amidst all this chaos over syf + studies + personal life, I have discovered that it is ....
HEDGEHOG AWARENESS WEEK!!!

Granted, it's only really relevant in like Britain, cos it was organised by the British Hedgehog Preservation Society. Also, it's kind of illegal to keep hedgehogs as pets, sadly. Contrary to popular belief, hedgehogs actually aren't really aggressive. They're really cute and you can actually hold them safely, like their quills won't harm you unless they feel threatened or something.

Oh & porcupines & hedgehogs are totally different (still rmbr C & W expressing surprise when I told them that haha). Superficially, porcupines are way bigger than hedgehogs and weigh almost four times the weight of an average hedgehogs. I think their quills are much longer too, & hedgehogs are way cuter. Looking at photos of them is almost too much to bear cos they're just way too adorable, although come to think of it I've never seen a live one before :/

Social networking

2011-05-01T10:44:00.003+08:00

With the advent of all such sites, I truly understand the lack of privacy and making superficial friends wtv.. But I have my own principles/rules when it comes to Fb/Twitter. I guess I'm more relaxed about who views my profile on Fb cos it only has photos & I have ceased to post personal status updates on it (my secret is twitter heheh). At the same time, I'm really perplexed when weird people attempt to add me, like people I've never heard of before. Generally I don't much bother trying to add others unless I just made friends w them & is genuinely interested in keeping up a friendship w them or wtv, and I don't mind so much accepting requests. Although usually I try to find out who exactly they are before I add them.. Haha. Twitter however, is a lot more personal.. Sometimes I wish I could just keep it completely private except for maybe like 3 friends who I'm genuinely close to. Generally, I don't like it when people I barely talk to try to follow me on Twitter. I guess to some people Twitter is like Fb, but is totally not to me. At the same time I feel really bad if I reject their request, not that they'd really mind I think? Or care enough, haha. Still, when someone adds me whom I've never spoken directly to before... Sigh.

2011-04-25T21:48:00.001+08:00

I really wish you knew what you did to us. If you could just even have half of what we feel right now.

History happenings

2011-04-21T13:35:00.001+08:00

Yongkee making weird frog noises.

LVM [wearing a green dress]: "Can you go & hide in the grass? That's what frogs do right."

Yk: "Then I go & hide behind you la."

LVM: "Hey my dress nice okay! At least the buttons are fake, cannot unbutton one." [pointedly at John who makes a habit of unbuttoning his shirt to reveal his "chastity" shirt]

Derailed

2011-04-21T13:30:00.001+08:00

I think there've been countless times since entering JC that I've let my life get out of hand. Like so many things are happening to me that I'm just so focused on how to react. And I never realised how disconnected up I am from everything else until the dust has settled. It's really bad.

I want to apologize to everyone who's had to suffer for it (you are sort of included Jie) but everytime I make a resolution to try harder, it happens again. And well, I can only hope that it gets better each time, but I don't know that. I'm just so sorry that I'm so caught up in my own personal life.

Derailed

2011-04-15T15:47:00.001+08:00

I think.

2011-04-14T19:19:00.001+08:00

I have been busy. Way too busy. And tired. And everyone w their own problems & I've been too busy, tired, frustrated to care about my friends.

Please be patient with me.

2011-04-05T23:01:00.001+08:00

My mood swings are crazy. I don't understand them either.

Exchange

2011-04-02T23:43:00.001+08:00

Tdy's exchange at tkss was interesting. In some ways, it brought back memories of (friendship harhar) StMargs. Cos in our syf yr we had an exchange there too, w many other bands. Last time was definitely more fun. What can I say but that my section was holistically preferable in StMargs. My section batch was like seamless.. And there's a potential reunion during StMargs syf.. Miss them a lot.

That aside.. I think we all discovered how pro our section tutor really was too. Christopher was omg scarily impressive. Combined w NYP to play skunk funk & Christopher took the solo. And he totally owned it. I was so excited to see him play haha. And his style is really flamboyant, "show off" I guess, but that's what the solo really needed.

It's getting easier to be w my section too :) although I can't help but be annoyed by some individuals, collectively, it's not too bad. And it can be fun to be w them heheh. I'd definitely miss band when all this is over.

What have I done this week

2011-04-01T10:53:00.001+08:00

Somehow it has been a really tiring and exhaustive week.. Not so sure what I've really been doing though. Havent been studying much. A levels are an impending doom. So is syf. Story of my life.

Vincent Bach

2011-03-23T22:02:00.002+08:00

Happy cos I got the new cornet mouthpiece that we ordered a few weeks back :) Truth to be told, I was ordering just for the sake of it, like because Caleb requested for new mouthpiece so I just went along w it.. I guess I didn't particularly feel the need for it. Because well I guess I still don't really know how much difference a mouthpiece can really make to your playing. & I was a bit sian cos the Vincent Bach cornet mouthpieces didn't have the model that I used for trumpet whereas Constance & Caleb had. So I decided to listen to Constance & take a 3C like her because it's apparently similar to the one I was using.

So glad I did cos it feels really good to use the mouthpiece :) :) :) I was facing quite a lot of difficulty in playing the cornet again (yes 2 years does that to you) cos there was a lot of resistance & stuff, made the tonguing murkier & everything... Basically I kinda missed playing the trumpet which I didn't have the option of using due to a shortfall in instru power. (Now rectified by incoming new instruments) But using the mouthpiece was a lot better cos it really felt so much like playing the trumpet & made my sound more controlled & everything. So yay to Vincent Bach :)

The Emperor's New Clothes

2011-03-20T19:28:00.002+08:00

Is it just me or do you suppose that there is actually a sort of link/paralleling between high fashion (couture wtv) & the kid's story The Emperor's New Clothes?

Basically, The Emperor's New Clothes is about an extremely vain emperor who was looking for the coolest, best, unique piece of clothing that he could strut about in & show off. As a result, he got swindled by this pair of crooks who promised just the very thing for a large amount of money but in truth they dressed him in nothing, claiming that only smart people could see it or wtv. And everybody knew/saw but nobody dared to say a thing because he was the emperor, until a kid pointed it out with all his innocence in the parade.

I have nothing against fashion, & I admit that sometimes I fall victim to it in all vanity, but sometimes, it's a tad ridiculous? Especially frothy concoctions that appear on the runway as a product of designers' fanciful imaginations. I suppose in a way it's an art form but when it attains the level of transparency.. Sure, sheer is in & it's nice, but when you can see what is beneath.. It's like supposed to be progress but sometimes when you look at it another way.. It just kind of reminds me of the old tale.

Malacca

2011-03-20T19:14:00.002+08:00

Spent my weekend ingesting teh tarik, rediscovering my passion for ice lemon tea & consuming food like there's no tomorrow. In all essence, there was nothing to do there except to eat, sleep & lepak, although I read a lot. And I discovered a new favourite author in Carlos Ruiz Zafon :)

If anyone can recall my obsession a few months ago with The Shadow of the Wind.. I recently discovered his newer book The Angel's Game in the library after CTs. While anything that involves death and heart palpitations in the worded form usually has me turning the other way, the name of the author was enough to make me borrow it & devour it at every single possible moment. Admittedly, I skimmed through the book (because I was scared) but I read enough of it to discover that the author has a really good style. Perhaps because I didnt read enough into the details, and that's why I can't quite understand the ending, also denying myself the chance to be fully engaged as a reader. But I love the plot twists & turns that Zafon came up with and his wordplay is fabulously humourous. The best part about his books (as I have discovered so far) is that it revels in the glory of the power of books and what it can do for you.

I would totally recommend his books to anyone with a fascination with mysteries/thrillers & a respect for language.

Sometimes I really miss Japan

2011-03-10T21:00:00.002+08:00

I know I'm probably saying this with the air of something that has passed & hence I can confidently forget the bad & remember only all the good. I guess it's quite true, although I can remember getting angry/annoyed/sad over there, I can't remember how bad it really felt.

Sometimes I suppose it's when everything happens to you here in Singapore & you can't help but think of the last holiday you had where everything (seemed) was perfect & good & well. I guess it's the stress of being J2 & the looming A's, as well as syf, that sometimes takes away the easy enjoyment I used to derive from band. As with everything, there are ups & downs wrt my feelings about going for band and now is kind of a down. A crowded band room coupled w the constant emphasis on studying often makes me grumpy, which I'm really trying to overcome... Sorry to those who have to put up w me like every Wednesday :/

Japan by contrast seems really happy. Like, we were performing but the stress was somehow alleviated. I suppose it's cos I knew we were gna get owned anw so "no stress", although I do wish that we performed better. But it was like the best section camaraderie (spl?) ever, & would have been perfect except Constance wasn't there :/ While I don't like hate my juniors to the core or something, there is something to be said about just being within your own batch. There's a comfortable familiarity about it & it's very easy to be happy w them. For once it was so effortless & seamless & so fun :) I really wish I'd known and then appreciated that time more.

The Adjustment Bureau

2011-03-10T19:42:00.003+08:00

Went to watch the Adjustment Bureau tdy & it was pretty good! (: The whole idea was quite novel even though elements of it was like The Tourist + Inception + Benjamin Button. I guess I liked how it was essentially a love story but not really one, in the sense of being unconventional & bringing in other parts..

It's actually about a politician, David Norris, who meets a lady called Elise and they fall in love. But then he's introduced to The Adjustment Bureau who essentially are a group of men who continually adjust things to suit the plan of the Chairman/the one up there (who isn't revealed in the end anyway). And apparently David is not supposed to go with Elise as it is not according to the Chairman's plan so they are constantly kept apart. I am, of course, not doing much justice to the actual plot, but the process is interesting. I suppose they didnt reveal who the Chairman was in the end to leave it open to interpretation.. Like oh he/she can be anyone you want him to be and although I've no issues with the idea of how the movie ended, I don't like how it was done. Plus there are some loopholes in the plot, like why did David even have to meet The Adjustment Bureau in the first place & why did they have to tell him all that stuff? Nevertheless, it was a good movie & those have been sorely lacking. Black Swan doesn't count cos it's M18 >:(

After CTs

2011-03-06T13:23:00.001+08:00

I promise to:
• Research on universities/university courses
• Spend more time w my family
• Sort out all my sister's GP stuff
• Organise PROs stuff

2011-03-04T18:09:00.002+08:00

1. Sticky sweets from Chengyi
2. Huge bar of chocolate from my Angel ^^
3. Nobody I know failed Chinese (congrats everyone!)

Everything's kinda back to normal :)

TaySwift

2011-03-04T17:59:00.002+08:00

Personally, I like Taylor Swift's voice, no matter what other people think of her as a person. Sure, she's kinda overrated but the fact is I guess since she's writes songs from experience, people find her songs really relatable & sure her songs get a little annoying after one too many times, but I think she's a pretty good singer. I mean, her voice isn't anything that special aside from other singers, but what I like is the amount of emotion that seems present when she sings. Like she really means it. As opposed to Lady Gaga. Or Hilary Duff.

:)

2011-03-03T18:13:00.001+08:00

1. Banmian

2. Milk Tea

3. Chess in any form

A dream come true. Literally.

2011-02-28T20:15:00.001+08:00

Last night I had a dream about buying dinosaurs for Hong Wan and finding the Shadow of the Wind at some kind of market. The kind where there are small quaint stalls and everything you find there is a surprise. Apparently my bankruptcy problems followed my through into dreamland because I remember being perplexed at not having enough money to buy both and my dream came to an end before I could decide what to do.

And then after lunch tdy browsing through a book sale, I suddenly spotted Shadow of the Wind for $5 and literally gasped out loud (GOL haha). It was totally deja vu. And I was in a very good mood after that ^^

A plan.

2011-02-27T10:24:00.001+08:00

I have a plan. Since I'm always going so broke (and totally bankrupt and in debt by the end of the month) and it's so bad, I have decided to finally do something about it. I'm gna have a savings scheme (no, not CPF). I'm going to have three different funds (Medisave, Medishield & Medifund harhar).
1. Bubble tea/eating out at abv $10 places fund
2. Shopping fund
3. Misc (eg people's birthdays) fund
And I'm going to donate all my leftover coins into it every single day. Or maybe I'll just keep the 10 cents. I'll see how it goes. Whoever sees this, please hold me accountable to it, tyvm :)

Cos things have been crazy lately.

2011-02-26T18:45:00.001+08:00

We take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
2 Corinthians 10:5

1. That I still believe in God
2. Friends who really care for me
3. Constance & Sharmaine (who never fail to cheer me up)
4. Captain's Ball
5. My newfound focus in lessons

♥

2011-02-25T19:08:00.002+08:00

Had a really good time tdy celebrating Ellie's birthday tgt w the tae :) I think I kinda forgot how much fun it was to spend time tgt w them cos even during nssn, it wasn't much. Not once the practices really started anw. We discussed STJ possibilities in the rubbishiest manner ever, laughing a lot and throwing out useless ideas/comments but it was fun. Then we headed down to Swensens and ate a lot, and a lot.

I guess after everything that I've felt for the past few days doing that felt pretty good. I just hate how everything seems to happen to me all at once & I hate how emotional I get.

2011-02-24T22:57:00.001+08:00

To be grateful for II

2011-02-18T20:00:00.004+08:00

1. My lovely Angel prompt w replies
2. Enough sleep
3. Treehouse talks w classmates

[edit]
4. Constance & Sharmaine ♥

Happy Valentine's ♥

2011-02-14T19:54:00.002+08:00

I wna say thanks to all my lovely classmates & band friends for the chocolates/flowers/notes! Everything was just so pretty :) I know Valentine's is very much hyped up & all of that, but I believe in it's value being more than just commercial. I guess for me it's just a reminder to everyone of us of the people around us who love us/whom we love, and to remember to show them how much you do. Because obviously we have a tendency to not.

Things to be grateful for

2011-02-12T23:43:00.003+08:00

Island Creamery ♥

These past two days have been good :) Friday was class picnic at East Coast & despite my low expectations, it was pretty fun! The sun was hot & the heat was suffocating, but we played Captain's Ball, camwhored & trotted back & forth barefoot for sweet drinks that left me even thirstier. I'm just thankful for a CT who'd treat us on a regular basis & then show off to others haha & a class w really sporting guys who'd try to involve us all & encourage us on no matter how lousy we are.

Today I'm thankful for my female batch sectionmates. Had an awesome lunch at the banmian place (whoohoo, finally) & we talked & talked & talked about everything that mattered. CNY dinner with church batchmates thereafter & Island.

Spot of Sunshine

2011-02-08T23:20:00.003+08:00

Met Carina & Kat for "dinner" tdy & I'm glad cos it pretty much brightened up my day :) It's not like I was having a terrible day or anything like that, but when I was w them my energy/happiness level totally went up ^^ Too bad S wasn't there :/ I couldn't stay for long - in fact, I just ate dessert while they ate dinner (thanks Kat! :D) - but we had a good chat. This time round even w Carina back for almost 3 months we never managed to meet up all 4 of us. Although we all saw her in our own time anyway.. Had an awesome time w them tdy :)

Oh, on a sidenote, volleyball during pe was really fun tdy! I think I got better at it heheh. Although I still really suck at it & I must learn to not exclaim whenever I miss the ball.. Hmm. But playing the game was rather fun w Janeal, John & Ben :)

Snippets of today

2011-02-02T22:43:00.002+08:00

#1
I found StMargs juniors in VJ! & both are from my secondary school junior class. I'm so proud of 4/5 cos all those that ever go to VJ, as far as I know, up until the two years abv me batch, were from that class!

#2
Interaction w junior class during food drive was kinda fun :) Meri was so funny!
Me: (directed towards junior) I'm from choir.
Meri: You're from choir? (is very surprised) [pause] But.. I'm from choir..?
Can't believe she really believed me hahahaah.

#3
Fortuitous meeting w S :)

Just another number

2011-02-01T23:58:00.001+08:00

I know this has been hotly debated ever since who knows when, but just my two cents worth of "Is war ever really worth it?"

After the war is over, everything will be in cold hard facts. Like, a thousand civilians dead, hundreds of soldiers dead. And we just read it off the page, without ever truly feeling anything. Do people think about these numbers as individuals? As people who had their own family, their own dreams, who led their own lives? As people that might be you or me or someone you know?

It's certainly never really occurred to me about the tragedy of war. It's all head knowledge. But either studying all this history is getting to my head or I've no idea what.. Either way, idk why it just suddenly struck me today.

The truth is, the real tragedy of war is how little we come to value those lives lost. Apparently we need big numbers before we'll feel the loss & decide that it was such a pity. But maybe it was for the greater good of everyone else. Like, a sacrifice on their part so everyone else could lead a better life. But how is that fair? How is it ever fair? These people had their hopes & dreams and they never signed up for martyrdom (most of them anyway). Is it fair that because of decisions made at the top that I don't like this ideology, or "hey I don't like them, let's start a war", individuals have to give up their lives? And they're never asked; they just have their lives taken away from them. And nobody remembers them. They're just another number to the casualty of war.

Even if it was only one person who died in the cause of the war, can it truly be justified? It seems so worth it, one dead and the rest get to enjoy the benefits. But it's not, because who has the right to decide that this person should give up their life just like that?

#700

2011-02-01T21:29:00.004+08:00

It's February already, & we made a trip to LTA today that was rather uneventful but somewhat cool & high-tech. I felt like a noob today (:

& that'll be my 700th post.

The world as it is is so new.

2011-02-01T09:51:00.001+08:00

Sometimes when I read through events that happened in the course of human history, I can't help but pick out colonialism, Asian inferiority and Caucasian superiority. I am by no means supporting this, much as I cannot speak Chinese well..

There was the time of colonialism where the Europeans just took over Asian countries and imposed their own practices and way of doing things onto them. Perhaps it indeed was for the natives' own good - white man's burden indeed. But time and time again, across most Asian countries were so quick to dismiss "tribal practices", "uncivilized ways" etc. Ironic as it may be coming from me (a truly 21st century Westernised kid), I don't appreciate what they did. Both sides do have their benefits, but it shouldn't be the case of one side imposed on the other just because it is thought to be better, without hearing what others have to say about it.

And this carries through all the way even until WWII. The arrogance of USA and USSR to decide what should happen to each and everyone of the other countries which are independent in their own right. I'm not angry over it but it just really strikes me.. Sure, they "earned" that right, by being superpowers. But this coming from USA, champion of human rights & independence.. Ironic much?

2011-01-30T12:36:00.003+08:00

Last Sunday I went to support Alicia & Yf (finally) at their concert & at the very least, I liked the pieces (: Maybe because I could actually recognise them... Yamato, With Heart & Voice, You Raise Me Up, bring it on man. Happy to see them, Su & my juniors ♥ It's been a really long time. They had one cool part of the concert where they played CNY songs using iPod/iPhone/iPad. It was a really cool & cute concept!

Watched Guru of Chai on Thursday for subj day. It was unexpectedly awesome (: I honestly didnt expect to really enjoy it because firstly, I knew nuts about it except that it was a one man show, & I rmbr thinking to myself: "Whaaaat... & it's probably gna be some abstract art thing that I totally would not understand." Instead, it was really understandable, & right up my alley! Set in India, about a chai-wallah & how his life gets entangled w orphaned girls, a policeman & a fakir (HAH, FINALLY I KNOW HOW TO PRONOUNCE THAT WORD). It reminded me a lot of Slumdog Millionaire, & it was really interesting. Like, the typical life of what it's like in India, with lots and lots of comedy. But I really appreciate it because it's not the slapstick type, but genuine humour that's "non-intended". Wouldn't mind watching it again (:

Aspirations

2011-01-27T17:10:00.001+08:00

Sometimes it really pays to be an innocent. Like, if we all thought less, the world would be a happier place, somewhat. Like, taking what people say and do at face value, nothing more nothing less. Without having to analyze what exactly they mean by it, or without even having to infer.

I'm starting to realize that the life is really a lot more complicated than it seems. But the simplest people are the happiest people. They are also the smartest and wisest, because they know what they know, yet can still rise above it all and CHOOSE to accept it as it is. Innocence is a state of being, but purity is a choice. Things that you choose to be.. It takes a lot to choose to ignore it all and live your life anyway. There's always this fine balance. You have to be in this world but at the same time, live without all the complications that it brings. I want to be like that.

Characteristics of a section

2011-01-22T15:10:00.001+08:00

When I joined cornet section in Sec One, I never realized the kind of difference it would make to my band experience. I never realized that much as you shouldn't stereotype, each section seriously more or less has different tendencies. And after 5 years (and counting) of being in the same section but different schools, I think I can safely say that it's really true.

My section then and now still like eating & always end up bending (or breaking) the rules although it's never really out of rebellion or whatever. And we have a lot of fun :)

Had section lunch today and it was really great, probably the last one I'll ever have with my batch, unsullied my juniors. I guess it's kind of biased and unfair to be this negative towards my juniors (those that I do and don't know of) but it's somewhat natural given that it took us this long to all finally be this comfortable with each other.. It'd be quite sad to have this upset my juniors. But I'll really try to like my juniors anyway, I suppose.

Finance Minister

2011-01-20T22:09:00.001+08:00

What, do you suppose, is it like to be a minister? Like you're COMPLETELY in charge of one part of the country. It's all you man, and whatever happens, it's either to your credit or your fault, whether or not that's really true.. And if you're the Finance Minister? I think that's really stressful.. Like, all that $$ in your hands. And if you're in US, and there's all those economic problems, having to deal w not only your own country's economy, but the rest of the world's too, cos you're the leader and everyone's looking at you. How scary is that? How do you have the confidence to decide on a certain course of action?

On a sidenote: I think these thoughts are borne out of Econs insidiously sneaking into my History so I get twice the dose nowadays.

Back to Cornets

2011-01-19T22:44:00.002+08:00

Excited cos we're using cornets for syf :D I guess I was rather lucky cos only those of us playing the cornet parts (as compared to trumpet parts) get to use the new ones! Awesomeeeeee. It's been awhile... Two years actually, since I switched from cornet to trumpet (& now I'm switching back). It's a lot more tiring, honestly, although it isn't very hard to play. The notes glide out a lot easier on the trumpet I guess. But it's a new instrument, where the utility I derive from playing the trumpet is decreasing due to certain reasons...

It's silver, shiny & Bach. And I've been really fortunate to always get to use new instruments. In Sec One we started out w old Yamaha ones, but a certain school band closed down & donated their virtually brand new cornets to us, so whoohoo! Then we got golden ones after our seniors graduated in 2007 & they were only about a year old, or less than a year old. Mine was especially nice & brand new-like (thanks Hew Mun). Then we switched to trumpets & we got completely new ones in our graduating year heheh. That one was really my favourite. Easier to play than Bach, although Bach is probably better haha. And now after one year of breathing in stale air, we get to use new cornets (: Although I'll still be using trumpet as well. But it makes me feel really fortunate!

What if Vampires were just like humans?

2011-01-18T21:05:00.001+08:00

What if they had preferences in food the way we prefer chicken over beef?

Hearing Type A & Type B one too many times for Differential Equations in Math lecture reminded me of blood types, which led me to expound on the random thoughts going through my very bored & overactive mind to Janeal. Like, blood types. And what if vampires preferred a blood type over another?

Imagine with me.. This vampire prefers O blood people, which, if I'm not wrong, makes up the majority of blood types in the world. So usually if he takes a chance & slakes his thirst on some random person, it'd more often than not be O type. But then he picks on an A type person instead.

*bites the girl's neck and sinks his fangs into it*
Vampire: Eurgh it's A type! I should've gone for the other dude. AYE.
*pushes unconscious girl away, leaving bite marks on her neck*

Paralleled with..
*eating a plate of meat*
Human: Yucks this is pork!! I thought it was chicken!
*pushes plate of meat away*

Just something amusing to ponder about :)

The truth is..

2011-01-15T22:13:00.001+08:00

When we start out in life, we always begin with uncertainty as kids. But then we mature and we start to think we know everything. We know people aren't always what they seem and we know we cannot be naive. I used to think I knew that.

But then I discovered that there was still so much I didn't know. Like maybe how much it'd affect me when I realize that there are some people that, much as you wish to trust them, shouldn't be because despite everything you do, they're loyalties will always belong to others. So don't tell them anything.

So the truth is, people are honestly never what they seem. You tell yourself you know that, that you'll be able to tell who your real friends are, and who you shouldn't trust. But the thing is, you actually can't know and you can't tell until it's too late. Then good luck to you.

Today was a killer day

2011-01-12T21:05:00.001+08:00

I almost died. I'm completely grateful for the fact that we end lessons at 1215 everyday, for now. Late nights spent studying/doing backdated work takes an extreme toil on me. Yesterday was ok cos there was pe. Today was killer.

Lit saw me struggling to make my brain work when I felt it retire for the day at about 8am in the morning. Maybe everyone felt the same way as me because the class was pretty quiet and dead. I couldn't resist taking a nap during History and I'm so sorry Janey for talking constantly :/ promise I'll try to remember not to next time. For the greater good of The Chosen One (heh).

Band totally sucked up the rest of my energy. Sectionals were rather enjoyable though, cos I realized it's been awhile since my section girls really talked to each other :) I love how we all have our different cliques in band but still totally get along & I really trust them. Syf piece is scary. I honestly don't know how we're going to do it, but even though I face it with more than a little apprehension, I'm somehow excited. True, I don't quite appreciate it, but I guess I can see it's value!

Hope I can sleep early tonight!

Somehow I can't get past this feeling

2011-01-11T22:25:00.001+08:00

Today had factors that made it up to be a not bad day for everything that's been happening. For one, my day started off w pe and it was just perfect because having slept ~4 hrs the night before due to chionging for Math... Basically I needed something to ensure I didn't fall asleep! 3 rounds of running, volleyball & pull-ups was invigorating :)

I was so disgusted w myself though, for feeling so thoroughly sick aft just three rounds :/ Idk what's wrong w me, esp since I have been running throughout the hols (maybe a lot less frequently now, but nevertheless). Oh well. Vball was fun, despite Janeal's & my noobness heh. I've never particularly enjoyed the sport because I never seem to be able to get it to go where I want it to. But today was mildly better, somehow! I think my class makes it all better too ^^

Love my class a lot! First day back to school ytd, first lesson, and I was sitting there already, laughing at everything they said.

I've put myself through a lot of stress for R paper, I know I deserve it too because I didn't even study during the holidays (although not without reason). So.. I guess I've nothing much to say for it except that it's finally over & I can focus on this year's stuff :) I'm inspired & I'm gna study consistently. I won't let the A's get me down!

2011-01-09T22:06:00.002+08:00

School is starting tmr, but I honestly don't feel much. I don't feel a dread like I usually do. I haven't even done any of my holiday homework though (cos I just discovered it tdy while packing my room) but it doesn't make me feel any worse...

I wonder if it's cos all I'm looking at is my R paper. Hmm. Really really really need to do better for it :/

Mononoke

2011-01-06T21:16:00.001+08:00

Sharmaine's solo, Keith tapping the drum behind me, Ely getting stage fright, Darren's energetic actions.

Nssn memories.

the story of my life...

We visit Mel at Loola's

Chinese New Year

My heart is full

That's what it feels like

I want to Katong

The most chillax trip ever: Bintan

Chinese Garden

Wishes

Memories of December

It does not feel like Christmas Eve

A quick update...

What I miss about band

Traders

Last Night

An Enchanting Day

Zafon

Life

A double (or triple) dose of injustice

Faded Dream

Sometimes Disney is kinda amazing

"Happy girls are the prettiest girls"

Walking out

SBQ

Amazed

In the face of "greatness"

HP *spoilers ahead*

Monte Carlo

2 years back

Guess I didn't

Chill :)

Celebration

Missing my section

Gossip Girl SATS episode

& so this is the end

POTC SPOILERS AHEAD

Seals are the cutest ^^

Events

Syf

The Lost Bladesman

Hedgehogs!

Social networking

History happenings

Derailed

Derailed

I think.

Please be patient with me.

Exchange

What have I done this week

Vincent Bach

The Emperor's New Clothes

Malacca

Sometimes I really miss Japan

The Adjustment Bureau

After CTs

TaySwift

:)

A dream come true. Literally.

A plan.

Cos things have been crazy lately.

♥

To be grateful for II

Happy Valentine's ♥

Things to be grateful for

Spot of Sunshine

Snippets of today

Just another number

#700

The world as it is is so new.

Aspirations

Characteristics of a section

Finance Minister

Back to Cornets

What if Vampires were just like humans?

The truth is..

Today was a killer day

Somehow I can't get past this feeling

Mononoke

HP spoilers ahead